![The steeple of the Memorial Church](/sites/g/files/omnuum7126/files/styles/hwp_21_9__1920x825/public/2025-02/160725ChurchCalArt4.jpg?itok=rG9ZvXzh) # Fifth Sunday after the Epiphany March 04, 2025 - [ Blog ](/news-categories/blog) *By The Rev. Sarah Drummond* *Professor of the Practice; Founding Dean, Andover Newton Seminary at Yale Divinity School* I bring you greetings from Andover Newton Seminary at Yale Divinity School, and I am just thrilled, thrilled to be here with you this morning. I commend you for coming out on this snowy and icy day, and I send greetings to all those who are participating online. Most notably, my dear friend Cynthia Rossano, who I was emailing with this morning, telling her how surprised I was at how emotional I felt. Getting ready to come back to this place that's meant so much to me over so many years. To be in this pulpit for the first time with my daughter here as a student, and to hear the choir led by Ed Jones, who was an intern with me at the same time, 30 years ago-ish. And to be with the wonderful Reverends Jones and Sullivan and Potts, this incredible ministry team. Again, my heart overflows, and I appreciate so much the warm welcome you've extended on this cold and blustery day. Would you pray with me? Oh God, may the words of my mouth and the meditation of all of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, for you are our rock and our redeemer. Amen. Imposter syndrome is the mental stress we feel when we believe we've gained access to the place where we are under false pretenses. We hear about it a lot in places like Harvard, which is understandable given how many qualified applicants to the college and graduate schools, have to be turned away due to sheer volume. My husband, Dan, worked in admissions here for many years and he brought home this quote from his colleague, the legendary David Evans, "For every 10 applicants to Harvard, we end up with nine enemies and one ingrate." Now, far fewer than one in 10 are admitted to the college, and that can mess with a person's head. Generally, we categorize imposter syndrome as a bad thing. A problem that needs to be solved. It has its upsides, however. In that imposter syndrome can motivate us to strive to be worthy of our place. It's not the best kind of kick in the pants, but it works if we can get past the self-loathing part and into a place of awe, wonder, and gratitude. I broker in imposter syndrome in the work I do with seminary students at Andover Newton, at Yale Divinity School. Andover Newton is the congregational Christian seminary embedded in Yale's ecumenical divinity school. The programs we offer prepare students for ministry in denominations where churches are locally governed. No bishops send our students to us. Students instead apply to our school because something is telling them that God has called them to serve. Our seminary's location within higher education subjects our students to an imposter syndrome double whammy. They both have to be accomplished enough, academically and professionally to gain admittance to Yale, and they need to sense a call from God to ministry. A sense that others in the community must adjudicate and confirm. A healthfully humble person should find it challenging, even uncomfortable to lay a confidence and robust claim on these markers of suitability for graduate theological education for ministry. Therefore, our healthfully humble students sometimes become overwhelmed by the pressure our acceptance and affirmation place upon them. A few weeks ago, I met with a student I'll call Isabel. Isabel applied to Andover Newton at YDS having been a strong student at a competitive college. She was an active member in her local Christian congregation. She wasn't sure she felt called to ministry per se, but after several years of working in social justice in an urban setting, she knew she needed a deeper well from which to draw hope and inspiration. As she makes her way through seminary, her grades are great and everyone who works with her, loves her. Why, therefore, is she holding back on a decision about whether or not to explore ordination more fully? Because she's scared that she might have to lie, Isabel can say, with full conviction, that she wants to care for the vulnerable, protect the environment and make the world a better place. But to tell a committee of people, which is how our denominations do ordination, that God has called her, feels arrogant to her. She senses a still, small voice, but doesn't everybody? Of course, I'm tempted to argue with Isabel for selfish reasons. I'd like a minister like Isabel to come visit me in the hospital if I get sick. I'd like to hear sermons from a writer and thinker like her. The God's honest truth is that I'm more inclined to want to be ministered to by her because of her honesty, her authenticity, but then there's the unselfish reason, I do argue with her. There's too much work to be done for us to mend God's world, to allow each other to hold back just because we're not sure we're worthy of the calling unto which we've been called. --- Harvard Memorial Church ยท The Rev. Sarah Drummond - Feb. 9, 2025 | Sunday Sermon --- The Apostle Peter provides us with an archetype for imposter syndrome when he questions Jesus's choice to call him to ministry. In our lesson from the gospel this morning, Peter rejects Jesus's invitation to follow him, saying, "Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man." Jesus has just caused Peter's boat nearly to sink under the weight of the fish he, through a miracle, helped Peter and his crew to catch. Peter thinks Jesus must have made a mistake in choosing him, an admissions error. Jesus is gentle with him and Peter goes on to have an incredible ministry. We can plot a direct line between Peter's work in the early church and what we are doing as we gather in worship today. Peter wasn't a rich or educated man. He probably spoke Aramaic with an unsophisticated Galilean accent. He would have known some Jewish religious practices, but probably never studied the Torah. In the exchange we hear today between Jesus and Peter, we see a Peter whose impulse, when bearing witness to a holy miracle, is fear. A few chapters earlier, Luke describes an interchange between an angel and Zechariah, John the Baptist's father, where we see the same reaction. An incredible supernatural thing happens and the person whose life has been upended is scared. Theologians use the word theophany to describe strong, visceral reactions to witnessing the work of the divine. It's like an epiphany, plus God. Peter's awe expressed first as fear doesn't wear off, but it changes shape over the course of his discipleship journey with further theophanies that deepen his faith. In Luke's ninth chapter for instance, we read that Jesus asked Peter, who people say he is. Peter reports they think Jesus is the reincarnation of a historic prophet. Then Jesus asks Peter, "But who do you say I am?" And Peter responds, "The Messiah of God." Of course, Peter was a human being and he made his fair share of mistakes. When Jesus tells his followers that his ministry will end with violence and death, Peter scolds him for being scary and depressing. Jesus rebukes him with the famous retort, "Get thee behind me, Satan." On the night of Jesus's ultimate betrayal, Peter pretends not to know him, not once, but three times. But at the resurrection, all is forgiven. Both of these bad reactions on Peter's part emerge from fear, just like his theophany did. Imposter syndrome, like any other form of fear, sometimes, motivates us and sometimes, paralyzes us. We see the results of Peter's overcoming his imposter syndrome later on in his ministry as it's described in the Book of Acts. In Acts, we read that Peter goes onto a rooftop to pray, and as he does, he has a vision. He's gone up to the rooftop hungry, waiting for a meal that was being prepared. In his vision, God presents food for him that doesn't conform to Jewish purity laws. When Peter helpfully points this out to God, God says, "What I have made clean, you must not call profane." Moments after this vision comes to an end. Peter makes the radical decision to open up the Jesus movement to the Gentiles. In the midst of a journey that started with Peter feeling unworthy of his calling, the rock upon whom the church was built breaks with precedent and invites non-Jewish people into the Christian Church. His imposter syndrome gives way to humility, which then gives way to generosity. Peter's life story doesn't have a happy ending. He's crucified under the Emperor Nero for undermining the Roman Empire by spreading the gospel. It's said Peter insisted on being crucified upside down because he wasn't worthy to die the same way Jesus had. There's nothing sentimental or sanitary about saying yes to a call to a life of service, but in my read on history and on life, those who understand their callings to be a privilege are those who have the most profound impact on our world. I grew up a Congregationalist in Connecticut and I came here to the Memorial Church for my ministry formation. Both settings were traditional, where Professor Gomes might have said, "You can't tell the pillars from the people." Therefore, I was already ordained when I first heard contemporary Christian music. I still don't know much about it, but I pay attention to contemporary Christian music as the lyrics can tell us something about what people of faith are thinking about today. People are thinking about imposter syndrome and they're grateful for God's grace. In Andover Newton Seminary at Yale Divinity School's worship community, which we call Emmaus, a favorite song is Reckless Love by Corey Asbury. The refrain to this song goes like this, oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God. It chases me down, fights till I'm found, leaves the 99. I couldn't earn it. I don't deserve it, but still, you give yourself away. Another song my students love, A Friend of God, begins, who am I that you are mindful of me? That you hear me when I call. Is it true that you are thinking of me? How you love me, it's amazing. I'm no fan of imposter syndrome, but I worry when a person born into privilege crows about how entitled they are to it. Aside from the fact that arrogance is annoying, it's also a numbing agent that inures us to one of the great joys of life. Gratitude. To unquestioningly believe that everything we have is something we've earned, deprives us of the joy of feeling truly lucky, and only when we feel lucky can we feel grateful. The phases of Peter's spiritual life can provide a template for our own and a way out of imposter syndrome. God shows up in our lives and calls us to serve. That's step one. Step two, we doubt God called the right number and debate ourselves into a frenzy over whether we deserve to serve. That doubt gives way to awe and gratitude. Then, we pass awe and gratitude along in the form of love. The great jurist Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. said that we seek the moral simplicity that lies on the other side of complexity in the same way a Christian life aspires for the awe we find and can only find on the other side of doubt. Just as a Christian seeks the life that can only be found on the other side of death. God loves us. We didn't earn it. We don't deserve it. So all that's left to do is love. Thanks be to God and amen. #### **Full Service Video** See also:- [ Sunday Service ](/blog-categories/sunday-service) - [ Sunday Service ](/archive/sunday-service) - [ Sermon ](/archive/sermons) Share on:- [ Facebook ](#) - [ Twitter ](#) - [ Linkedin ](#)